Wacky news of the day

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wrenhal

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Man, Woman Admit Driving From Arizona To Wyoming With Kids In Trunk
Two German shepherds sat in the back seat while the kids were in the trunk.



Casper Police Dept.

CASPER, Wyo. (AP) — A man and woman admit in court they drove from Arizona to Wyoming with two children in the trunk of their car.
Sixty-three-year-old Michael J. Fee and 31-year-old Amber L. Freudenstein each pleaded guilty Thursday to two misdemeanor counts of child endangerment.
The Casper Star-Tribune reports Circuit Judge Steven Brown sentenced each to 30 days in jail. Fee is from Peoria, Arizona, and Freudenstein is from Tempe, Arizona.
Sheriff’s officials say a third party told them the children reported riding in the trunk for much of the 900-mile drive while two German shepherds sat in the back seat.
Fee said in court there was not enough room for everyone so the children were relegated to the trunk. Court documents show the children are about 6 and 10 years old.
They need to be locked in a trunk in Arizona for however long the kids were in the trunk.
In the middle of Summer.

Sent from my KIW-L24 using Tapatalk
 
Mar 27, 2012
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Authorities warn people to not eat chicken tenders spilled on roadside

Johnny Lieu
January 7, 2019



We get it, cheapskates, free food is hard to resist.

Especially when it comes in the form of delicious chicken tenders, but Alabama authorities have warned people to not eat any from boxes that were spilled from a 18-wheeler truck on Sunday.

The crash on Highway 35 in Cherokee County prompted motorists to stop and pick up the truckload of spilled tenders, according to the Associated Press.

Quick to say nope was the Cherokee County Emergency Management Agency, who warned on Facebook that it's a crime to stop and impede the flow of traffic with your chicken tender pilfering efforts.

The agency also cautioned that the cases of tenders had been on the ground for more than 24 hours, and are thus unsafe to eat. Food poisoning ain't fun, people.

According to one commenter on the post, the exact location of where to get the free chicken was shared on the Dekalb Buy and Sell Facebook page.

"All the people commenting and the guy that posted it were so serious," the commenter wrote. Seems like they weren't the only ones who were keen.

If the roadside, likely off chicken wasn't enough to deter people from trying to get it — as of Monday, there was none left.

The spill had been cleaned up, according to another Facebook post by the Cherokee County Emergency Management Agency.

So, if you scored some of the free roadside chicken tenders, maybe put it in the bin, not your mouth.
 
Mar 27, 2012
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U.S.
Texas Woman Banned From Walmart After Spending Hours Drinking Wine from Pringles Can While Riding in Cart
By Jason Murdock On 1/14/19 at 7:12 AM


A woman in Texas was banned from a Wichita Falls Walmart last week after spending hours drinking wine from a Pringles can and riding an electric shopping cart.

The local police received a call last Friday complaining that the woman had been drinking alcohol around the store’s parking lot. Wichita Falls deputies were informed that the person had been consuming wine from a Pringles can, the Times Record News first reported.

A witness said the woman was riding on a cart typically reserved for customers with disabilities while dressed in a blue jacket and black pants. Police spokesperson Jeff Hughes said cops were informed the woman had been drinking in the store’s parking lot since around 6:30 a.m.

The incident at the store on Central Freeway was called in around 9 a.m., KAUZ-TV reported. Employees requested the officers help ban the woman. On arrival at the scene, police found the individual in a restaurant and informed her she would no longer be allowed in the shop.

Walmart did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

The Dallas Morning News reported there was no indication the woman had been arrested or charged. There was no inmate record listed. Additionally, the department made no reference to her activities on social media, where updates on crimes are typically posted for the public. As such, the woman’s name was not immediately available.
 
Mar 27, 2012
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'Kill 'em with kindness:' Florida man with 'kindness' written on knife accused of assault
Jacob Newby, Pensacola News Journal Published 8:26 p.m. ET Jan. 14, 2019

A Florida man is accused of cutting a man with a machete-style knife moments after he was heard threatening to kill someone "with kindness."

Bryan Stewart, 30, is accused of using the knife — with the word "kindness" written on it — to cut his neighbor after the neighbor came to the home because he was concerned about occupants in the house.

A neighbor told Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office deputies that he heard yelling and banging at his neighbor's house in the 6400 block of Bruce Lane all day.


Bryan Stewart (Photo: Courtesy of the Santa Rosa County Jail Log)

The victim, another neighbor, said that around midnight he could hear Stewart say to someone in the house that he was going to "kill 'em with kindness," according to the Stewart's arrest report.

When the first neighbor approached the house to tell Stewart to keep it down, Stewart came out of the house with a knife raised in an upward motion, according to the report.

At that point, the victim stepped in front of the man and blocked Stewart's attempted knife strike. As a result, the man told deputies he suffered a half-inch cut on his left hand.

When Stewart was arrested, deputies say his breath smelled of alcohol and they had to repeat things to the suspect numerous times.

Stewart had to be stunned with a Taser in order to be detained inside of the patrol car, his report said, and also had to be hobbled after he repeatedly kicked and banged his head inside the car.

Stewart was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill and aggravated battery. Stewart is in Santa Rosa County Jail on $20,000 bond.
 

RxCowboy

Has no Rx for his orange obsession.
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They misspelled "macabre". It isn't spelled with a "g".

Sleeping with my wife’s corpse was a great way to grieve
By The Sun May 8, 2017 | 9:11am | Updated

A grieving husband who slept next to his wife’s dead body in their bedroom for six days says he couldn’t bear to see her taken off to a mortuary in a body bag.

Leasing agent Russell Davison’s wife, Wendy, died at their home in Derby, England, after a 10-year battle with cervical cancer.

He said he was determined to keep her at home with their four children and not hand her over to a funeral director.

The dad now wants to reassure others that staying close to a loved one’s dead body should be nothing to be scared of.

Russell said he washed and dressed Wendy’s body and placed it in a coffin — which he called a “cocoon” — in the couple’s bedroom.

And Russell insists it should be “the way we treat our dead,” saying it allowed him and the boys to come to terms with their devastating loss.

Russell said: “Wendy died very peacefully, fully sedated, in no pain in mine and Dylan’s arms with our ever faithful dog Elvis snuggled up right next to her too.

“She looked absolutely beautiful, just like she always did in life: no effort, no make-up, just radiant beauty.

“We have been fooled by TV and films into thinking there is something to be scared about with dead bodies — there is not, I can assure you.”

Wendy, 50, was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2006 — just after the couple’s joint 40th birthday — and was told three years ago she had six months to live.

But she shunned chemotherapy and radiotherapy and embraced “natural health,” Russell said.

The couple bought a mobile home and traveled around Europe, but in September last year returned to Britain as Wendy’s pain became unbearable.

But she was determined to die at home and was nursed by Russell and the boys until her death on April 21.

Russell, also 50, said: “For a long time I have been determined to have Wendy at home when she died.

“I did not want her in the mortuary or handed over to a funeral director, I wanted us to take care of her ourselves at our family home, and have her in our bedroom so I could sleep in the same room.”

He said keeping Wendy at home was like “an emotional decompression chamber,” which helped the family come to terms with her death while she was still there.

Russell said: “The idea of her being taken away in a plastic body bag hours after death is so alien to us all now we really don’t think we could have taken it.”
 

RxCowboy

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Wanted Poster Of Sex Offender Goes Viral With The Best Comments On The Internet
1548007089634.png


by
Holly Matkin
2 days
-edited

The Virginia Department of Corrections is attempting to locate Cletorius Aretha Fry.

Richmond, VA – The Virginia Department of Corrections (DOC) has asked the public for assistance in locating a sex offender who absconded from supervision, and the similarity between the felon’s name and that of a female body part has resulted in a slew of comedic social media posts.

Cletorius Aretha Fry, 34, is wanted for violating the terms of her probation, the DOC announced in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“She removed her ankle bracelet and her whereabouts are unknown,” the agency said.

The suspect, who also goes by the aliases of “Onion Fry,” “Cletoris Rose,” and “Clitoriur Rose,” among others, was convicted of abducting a minor in 2008, according to Virginia State Police records.

She also has two prior convictions for failing to register as a sexual offender.

Over 73,000 Facebook users were quick to comment on the post, which had been shared more than 88,000 times as of Friday morning.

One woman questioned whether or not male officers should even attempt to look for Fry in the first place.

“Well, I’d say men will have a tough time finding her,” she wrote.

“I mean if they do find her, will they even know what to do with her?” another woman asked.

A married woman noted that her husband told her that “she’s not real” and that she is “only a myth.”

Despite all the doubt, some readers were pretty sure they might know where she is hiding.

“I think I know where she’s at. I just can’t put my finger on it…” one man wrote.

“I heard she was last seen in a pink Vulva heading south on Route 69,” another man offered, prompting suggestions that police check the security cameras at any nearby “cervix stations,” especially those along the route to “West Vagina.”

One plausible suggestion was that she might be out “trying to find that guy that licked a doorbell for 3 hours.”

Other social media users argued that she could be hiding nearby “in a bush,” "in the hood," or at “her friend Labia’s house.”

One reader figured she simply took off because “she was probably rubbed the wrong way,” but another suggested that the case might be solved with the help of the “Secret Cervix.”

“Can you believe the 8000 nerve endings of this woman?” a disgusted commenter said.

A very informative male reader then offered some clarification.

“I think some of you are confusing the sisters,” he wrote. “Cletorious isn’t hard to find, but her sister Geespoticus seems to be more elusive.”

Despite the enthusiastic feedback, Fry is still listed as “wanted” by the DOC.
 
Aug 16, 2012
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Wanted Poster Of Sex Offender Goes Viral With The Best Comments On The Internet
View attachment 67655

by
Holly Matkin
2 days
-edited

The Virginia Department of Corrections is attempting to locate Cletorius Aretha Fry.

Richmond, VA – The Virginia Department of Corrections (DOC) has asked the public for assistance in locating a sex offender who absconded from supervision, and the similarity between the felon’s name and that of a female body part has resulted in a slew of comedic social media posts.

Cletorius Aretha Fry, 34, is wanted for violating the terms of her probation, the DOC announced in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“She removed her ankle bracelet and her whereabouts are unknown,” the agency said.

The suspect, who also goes by the aliases of “Onion Fry,” “Cletoris Rose,” and “Clitoriur Rose,” among others, was convicted of abducting a minor in 2008, according to Virginia State Police records.

She also has two prior convictions for failing to register as a sexual offender.

Over 73,000 Facebook users were quick to comment on the post, which had been shared more than 88,000 times as of Friday morning.

One woman questioned whether or not male officers should even attempt to look for Fry in the first place.

“Well, I’d say men will have a tough time finding her,” she wrote.

“I mean if they do find her, will they even know what to do with her?” another woman asked.

A married woman noted that her husband told her that “she’s not real” and that she is “only a myth.”

Despite all the doubt, some readers were pretty sure they might know where she is hiding.

“I think I know where she’s at. I just can’t put my finger on it…” one man wrote.

“I heard she was last seen in a pink Vulva heading south on Route 69,” another man offered, prompting suggestions that police check the security cameras at any nearby “cervix stations,” especially those along the route to “West Vagina.”

One plausible suggestion was that she might be out “trying to find that guy that licked a doorbell for 3 hours.”

Other social media users argued that she could be hiding nearby “in a bush,” "in the hood," or at “her friend Labia’s house.”

One reader figured she simply took off because “she was probably rubbed the wrong way,” but another suggested that the case might be solved with the help of the “Secret Cervix.”

“Can you believe the 8000 nerve endings of this woman?” a disgusted commenter said.

A very informative male reader then offered some clarification.

“I think some of you are confusing the sisters,” he wrote. “Cletorious isn’t hard to find, but her sister Geespoticus seems to be more elusive.”

Despite the enthusiastic feedback, Fry is still listed as “wanted” by the DOC.
Geespoticus.

Classic.
 

King Poke

Medical Mystery
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Wanted Poster Of Sex Offender Goes Viral With The Best Comments On The Internet
View attachment 67655

by
Holly Matkin
2 days
-edited

The Virginia Department of Corrections is attempting to locate Cletorius Aretha Fry.

Richmond, VA – The Virginia Department of Corrections (DOC) has asked the public for assistance in locating a sex offender who absconded from supervision, and the similarity between the felon’s name and that of a female body part has resulted in a slew of comedic social media posts.

Cletorius Aretha Fry, 34, is wanted for violating the terms of her probation, the DOC announced in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“She removed her ankle bracelet and her whereabouts are unknown,” the agency said.

The suspect, who also goes by the aliases of “Onion Fry,” “Cletoris Rose,” and “Clitoriur Rose,” among others, was convicted of abducting a minor in 2008, according to Virginia State Police records.

She also has two prior convictions for failing to register as a sexual offender.

Over 73,000 Facebook users were quick to comment on the post, which had been shared more than 88,000 times as of Friday morning.

One woman questioned whether or not male officers should even attempt to look for Fry in the first place.

“Well, I’d say men will have a tough time finding her,” she wrote.

“I mean if they do find her, will they even know what to do with her?” another woman asked.

A married woman noted that her husband told her that “she’s not real” and that she is “only a myth.”

Despite all the doubt, some readers were pretty sure they might know where she is hiding.

“I think I know where she’s at. I just can’t put my finger on it…” one man wrote.

“I heard she was last seen in a pink Vulva heading south on Route 69,” another man offered, prompting suggestions that police check the security cameras at any nearby “cervix stations,” especially those along the route to “West Vagina.”

One plausible suggestion was that she might be out “trying to find that guy that licked a doorbell for 3 hours.”

Other social media users argued that she could be hiding nearby “in a bush,” "in the hood," or at “her friend Labia’s house.”

One reader figured she simply took off because “she was probably rubbed the wrong way,” but another suggested that the case might be solved with the help of the “Secret Cervix.”

“Can you believe the 8000 nerve endings of this woman?” a disgusted commenter said.

A very informative male reader then offered some clarification.

“I think some of you are confusing the sisters,” he wrote. “Cletorious isn’t hard to find, but her sister Geespoticus seems to be more elusive.”

Despite the enthusiastic feedback, Fry is still listed as “wanted” by the DOC.
Geespoticus.

Classic.
Might want to check nearby campgrounds. She’s probably out in a canoe.
 
Mar 27, 2012
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Woman shot after performing sex act for Pringles and $5, officials say


Updated 2 hrs 9 mins ago
JACKSONVILLE, Florida --
A Florida woman was shot after performing a sexual act on the suspected gunman in exchange for $5 and Pringles chips, the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office told WJAX.

Authorities say the woman agreed to the exchange just before 10:30 p.m. Monday at a Shell gas station. After the act, the suspect demanded his money back, then shot her in the shoulder.

He ran away from the scene.

The woman is in the hospital recovering from non-life-threatening injuries.


Another Pringles story and could she really have been that bad? And, it says he took back his demanded his money back, but what happened to the Pringles? :popcorn:
 
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RxCowboy

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Half-naked woman arrested for masturbating in restaurant picked up where she left off in a squad car

By BRIAN NIEMIETZ
| NEW YORK DAILY NEWS |
JAN 31, 2019 | 5:05 PM
1549116977817.png
Half-naked woman arrested for masturbating in restaurant picked up where she left off in a squad car
Dovie Nickels (Obtained by NY Daily News)

A Texas woman arrested for public masturbation picked up where she left off once police arrested her.

Dovie Nickels, who wasn’t wearing pants when she and her vibrator grabbed a seat on the patio of an Austin restaurant, was arrested for indecent exposure Tuesday.

The general manager of a JW Marriott Hotel reportedly notified staff members that he spotted Nickels “with her legs straight up in the air, spread open” and pleasuring herself with a silver object.

That manager told police “he could hear Nickels making moaning noises as if she was having an orgasm,” according to a police report published on The Smoking Gun.

Police arrived on the scene where it appeared the 26-year-old woman was still getting it on.

“Nickels stopped her motions and put her hands on the table once officers approached,” the police report said.

Police put Nickels in handcuffs and placed her in the back of a squad car, where she “began to repeatedly rub her groin back and forth on the plastic seat, moaning.”

It was the arresting officers’ opinion that even without the use of her hands, Nickels was still trying to gratify herself.

“Even when asked to stop, Nickels continued to do so for the duration of our encounter,” the report said.

Arresting officers did not recover the silver object reportedly seen by the hotel manager who first witnessed Nickels’ night out.