Wacky news of the day

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kaboy42

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https://www.yahoo.com/sports/report...a-agent-time-dumbbell-incident-025441744.html

Report: Richie Incognito paranoid, believed he was an NSA agent at time of dumbbell incident



Richie Incognito reportedly told police that he was an NSA agent when they responded to a call that he threw a dumbbell at somebody. (AP)

On Wednesday, Richie Incognito was reportedly detained for an involuntary mental evaluation after being accused of throwing tennis balls and a dumbbell at another person at a Boca Raton, Florida gym.
The police reports of the incident were made public on Thursday and point to more trouble for the former former Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins offensive lineman.
Report: Incognito thought he was an NSA agent
Per CBS Sports, which obtained the reports, Incognito told police when they arrived that he believed he was an NSA agent.
“There’s a guy walking around with headphones on,” Incognito reportedly said. “I’m running NSA class level 3 documents through my phone. I can’t have anybody in bluetooth capability of me or taking pictures of me.”
CBS Sports reports that Incognito then told police that he couldn’t disclose information about his phone because they didn’t have “high enough clearance.”
Police: Incognito was in “altered, paranoid state”
The police report stated that “investigations revealed that Incognito was suffering an altered, paranoid state and believed ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”
Incognito told police that he had taken a supplement called Shroom Tech — a real thing — before going to the gym.
The makers of Shroom Tech touted the product’s safety on Twitter, adding, “We don’t know Richie, but we hope he feels better soon.”


Police responded to the incident when the man allegedly targeted by Incognito called 911.
Per the CBS Sports account of the 911 call:
“The gentleman threw a … chucked a tennis ball at me for no reason. Then he started throwing s— at me,” the man said. “Then he tried to mow me over with a sled. And he just started yelling at me like he was going to kick my ass. And he started beating the s— out of the equipment over there.”​
Police detained, but did not arrest Incognito using Florida’s Baker Act, which allows officials to hold a person for psychiatric evaluation “who is in danger of becoming a harm to self, harm to others.”
The Bills recently granted Incognito’s request for release, leaving the 34-year-old on the free agent market. He said in April he intended to retire before deciding he wanted to play again.
The four-time Pro Bowler had a career resurgence in Buffalo after being suspended for a year by the Dolphins for his role in the bullying scandal involving Jonathan Martin while in Miami.





...undergone Clinical Studies & tracked for Adverse Events for years...
I call bullsh*t.
 
Last edited:
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Ohio man calls police on pig following him home


A pig named Zoey is seen in the back of a police cruiser.


A man in Ohio realized the downside of bringing home the bacon when a pig wouldn't stop following him on his way home early Saturday morning. Police in Elyria, Ohio, say they thought the unidentified man must have been drunk or hallucinating when he called for backup after failing to shake the swine.

The North Ridgeville Police Department said they received the call at 5:26 a.m. Saturday morning. Upon arrival, they discovered the man, who was totally sober but still being followed by the pig near the city's Amtrak station.

An officer loaded the pig into his police cruiser and eventually returned it to its owner. A department spokesperson told CBS News the pig's name was Zoey.

"Also, we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard," the department said in a Facebook post.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/elyria-ohio-man-calls-police-after-pig-follows-him-home-2018-05-20/
 

RxCowboy

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Ohio man calls police on pig following him home


A pig named Zoey is seen in the back of a police cruiser.


A man in Ohio realized the downside of bringing home the bacon when a pig wouldn't stop following him on his way home early Saturday morning. Police in Elyria, Ohio, say they thought the unidentified man must have been drunk or hallucinating when he called for backup after failing to shake the swine.

The North Ridgeville Police Department said they received the call at 5:26 a.m. Saturday morning. Upon arrival, they discovered the man, who was totally sober but still being followed by the pig near the city's Amtrak station.

An officer loaded the pig into his police cruiser and eventually returned it to its owner. A department spokesperson told CBS News the pig's name was Zoey.

"Also, we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard," the department said in a Facebook post.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/elyria-ohio-man-calls-police-after-pig-follows-him-home-2018-05-20/
It wasn't me.
 

naffigator

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MAN CRASHES INTO RIVER AFTER ATTEMPTING TO GIVE HIMSELF A BLOWJOB WHILE DRIVING

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Goose Creek, SC | A South Carolina man was miraculously rescued by passers-by after he lost control of his vehicle and ended up in a nearby river.
Anthony Sanders, 47, reportedly told police officers he was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving his car when his head apparently got stuck under the steering wheel thus losing control of his vehicle.
The man who is recently divorced and is allegedly suffering from depression was found heavily intoxicated and admitted being under the influence of alcohol, crystal meth and crack cocaine.
“He had his head stuck under the steering wheel with his genitals inside his mouth. I don’t understand how he got into that position,” Adam Simmons, one of his rescuers, told reporters.

Several locals came to the rescue of Anthony Sanders, 47, who apparently crashed his car into the river while attempting to perform oral sex on himself, according to officials.
An uncontrollable urge for sex
Sanders told officers he had an uncontrollable urge for a “blowjob” moments before the accident occurred.
“The driver was heavily intoxicated under several substances and was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving, which is by itself a blatantly dangerous maneuver,” explained Deputy Sheriff, Robert Kilsh.
Anthony Sanders was immediately brought to the Trident Medical Center where he was found to suffer from several broken ribs and deep lacerations to the back of his mouth and throat, say doctors.
Anthony Sanders faces accusations of driving under the influence as well as 16 different accounts of reckless driving and could face up to 15 years in jail if found guilty according to South Carolina state laws.
 

bleedinorange

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MAN CRASHES INTO RIVER AFTER ATTEMPTING TO GIVE HIMSELF A BLOWJOB WHILE DRIVING

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Goose Creek, SC | A South Carolina man was miraculously rescued by passers-by after he lost control of his vehicle and ended up in a nearby river.
Anthony Sanders, 47, reportedly told police officers he was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving his car when his head apparently got stuck under the steering wheel thus losing control of his vehicle.
The man who is recently divorced and is allegedly suffering from depression was found heavily intoxicated and admitted being under the influence of alcohol, crystal meth and crack cocaine.
“He had his head stuck under the steering wheel with his genitals inside his mouth. I don’t understand how he got into that position,” Adam Simmons, one of his rescuers, told reporters.

Several locals came to the rescue of Anthony Sanders, 47, who apparently crashed his car into the river while attempting to perform oral sex on himself, according to officials.
An uncontrollable urge for sex
Sanders told officers he had an uncontrollable urge for a “blowjob” moments before the accident occurred.
“The driver was heavily intoxicated under several substances and was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving, which is by itself a blatantly dangerous maneuver,” explained Deputy Sheriff, Robert Kilsh.
Anthony Sanders was immediately brought to the Trident Medical Center where he was found to suffer from several broken ribs and deep lacerations to the back of his mouth and throat, say doctors.
Anthony Sanders faces accusations of driving under the influence as well as 16 different accounts of reckless driving and could face up to 15 years in jail if found guilty according to South Carolina state laws.
I knew texting and driving was dangerous but this sets the bar....a little lower? What I don't understand is why (if one is so inclined and capable) he ever leaves home? ;)

NTTAWWT
 

RxCowboy

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MAN CRASHES INTO RIVER AFTER ATTEMPTING TO GIVE HIMSELF A BLOWJOB WHILE DRIVING

Share196K
Tweet
Goose Creek, SC | A South Carolina man was miraculously rescued by passers-by after he lost control of his vehicle and ended up in a nearby river.
Anthony Sanders, 47, reportedly told police officers he was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving his car when his head apparently got stuck under the steering wheel thus losing control of his vehicle.
The man who is recently divorced and is allegedly suffering from depression was found heavily intoxicated and admitted being under the influence of alcohol, crystal meth and crack cocaine.
“He had his head stuck under the steering wheel with his genitals inside his mouth. I don’t understand how he got into that position,” Adam Simmons, one of his rescuers, told reporters.

Several locals came to the rescue of Anthony Sanders, 47, who apparently crashed his car into the river while attempting to perform oral sex on himself, according to officials.
An uncontrollable urge for sex
Sanders told officers he had an uncontrollable urge for a “blowjob” moments before the accident occurred.
“The driver was heavily intoxicated under several substances and was attempting to perform oral sex on himself while driving, which is by itself a blatantly dangerous maneuver,” explained Deputy Sheriff, Robert Kilsh.
Anthony Sanders was immediately brought to the Trident Medical Center where he was found to suffer from several broken ribs and deep lacerations to the back of his mouth and throat, say doctors.
Anthony Sanders faces accusations of driving under the influence as well as 16 different accounts of reckless driving and could face up to 15 years in jail if found guilty according to South Carolina state laws.
"If I could reach I'd never leave the house."
-- George Carlin
 

RxCowboy

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Woman arrested, accused of 'skimming' credit cards on first day at Twin Peaks

by Austin Prickett
Monday, June 11th 2018

Rachael Tyler, 34, was arrested June 7 in Oklahoma City on a complaint of computer crimes. (Oklahoma County Jail)
AA
OKLAHOMA CITY (KOKH) — A woman found herself behind bars after police say she was skimming credit cards on her first day working at a metro restaurant.

Oklahoma City Police Department reports show that Rachael Tyler, 34, was arrested June 7 on complaints of computer crimes and several city warrants.

Around 10 p.m. that day, officers were called to Twin Peaks, 6400 SW 3, after a manager at the business had observed an employee scanning customer's credit cards using a skimmer.

Surveillance video allegedly showed Tyler swiping the cards on a computer to pay for the customer's bill and then swiping the cards towards her pockets before giving it back to the customers. The skimmer was later found in Tyler's pocket.

The device connects to a computer via a USB port and stores the customer's bank account information.
Tyler was later arrested and booked into the Oklahoma County Jail.
 

snuffy

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Kentucky drug dealer mixes up his own number with cop's in a Snapchat message
USA TODAY NETWORKDouglas White, Henderson GleanerPublished 4:44 p.m. ET June 13, 2018


MORGANFIELD, Ky. - A Kentucky law enforcement official found himself getting phone messages from someone wanting to purchase drugs after a dealer mixed up his own number with that of the officer in a Snapchat message, according to a press release from the Morganfield Police Department:
"Throughout the day on (June) 10th Sgt. McCallister of The Morganfield Police Department began getting phone calls and text messages regarding someone wanting to purchase marijuana from a person mentioned as “Dunk."
"After several hours of these text messages, Sgt. McCallister along with Chief Deibler, Deputy Jason Thomas and Kentucky State Trooper Eric Dilback set up an undercover operation with one of the persons texting “Dunk” seeking the purchase of marijuana.
The operation began at roughly 10 p.m. at the rear parking lot of Morganfield Elementary School.

At approx. 11:43 p.m. McCallister received several text messages telling him that the buyer would be arriving in a white work van. Sure enough, the van arrived driven by Roy E. Hancock with an unnamed juvenile passenger.
Hancock was in possession of a firearm, 1.7 grams of crystal methamphetamine, and a glass pipe. The phone number that had been texting McCallister was called and the unnamed juvenile's phone began to ring. Both of the passengers in the van admitted to making the connection with the would-be drug dealer known as "Dunk."
]
The police then learned that the real drug dealer had tried to put his new phone number on Snapchat alongside and advertisement for the sale of marijuana when the mix up happened.
"The incompetence of the drug dealer was fully displayed when he inadvertently switched some of the numbers in his new phone number making the phone number he posted Sgt. McCallister’s actual phone number thus beginning a disturbing interaction with The Morganfield Police Department for one of his customers," the press release read.

The Morganfield Police Department has since learned the real identity of "Dunk" and they are currently working to put him out of business.
Hancock, 51, was charged with unlawful possession of weapon on school property, trafficking in a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance first offense (meth), and possession of drug paraphernalia.
The press release didn't specify charges for the juvenile.
Follow Douglas White on Twitter @DwhiteatGleaner