The Right Way to Spank a Child

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RxCowboy

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#1
From WSJ open page:

The Right Way to Spank a Child
A medical academy wrongly conflates discipline with abuse.

By Robert C. Hamilton
Feb. 5, 2019 6:47 p.m. ET

The American Academy of Pediatrics has expressed opposition to “all forms of corporal punishment,” defined to include spanking and also “kicking, shaking, or throwing children; scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair, or boxing ears; forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions; burning, scalding, or forced ingestion (for example, washing a child’s mouth out with soap or forcing [him] to swallow hot spices).”

Child abuse is a serious crime and should be punished as such. The academy is also right to oppose verbal punishment that “belittles, humiliates, denigrates, scapegoats, threatens, scares, or ridicules the child.” But it oversteps when it lumps spanking in with these harsh, heinous acts.

Some child-developmental specialists abhor spanking, a bias that can predetermine their conclusions. The data come from retrospective studies that do not—and cannot—control for the method or intensity of spanking. A drunken father who beats his child with a belt is treated as equivalent to a sober mother who swats her child’s bottom with a wooden spoon.

I know many people who were disciplined corporally as children. As adolescents and adults, these flourishing, loving, wise and nonviolent people admire and respect their parents and attribute much of their success in life to the discipline they received and learned as children.

There is a proper and loving way to spank a child. In my practice, I advise parents not to use corporal punishment until children are old enough to understand why they are being punished. Spanking should be a last resort after other disciplining methods and verbal warnings are exhausted, and only to punish clearly and willfully disobedient acts. It should never be done in public.

I recommend limiting spanking to one to three swats with a wooden spoon, not a hand. The swats should sting only, not injure. Discipline should come as soon as possible after the offending behavior, and should be followed by a reflective moment when parent and child review the reason for the discipline, then reconcile and embrace.

Disciplining children is time-consuming and unpleasant. But parents who do so consistently and conscientiously find that spanking becomes rare because their children learn to respect them and obey their words.

The rejection of spanking flies in the face of multiple biblical injunctions regarding child discipline. It’s unreasonable to demand that believing Jews and Christians dismiss clear teachings like the one in Proverbs 22:15: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.” The ancient rabbis weren’t fools. They understood human nature and recognized that children are born with wills that need to be quelled.

I’m concerned that American Academy of Pediatrics policy will invite lawmakers to enact spanking bans, urging the government to intrude into intimate family affairs. Proper spanking is rare, but it is highly effective in shaping a child’s character and behavior. It should continue to be an option for loving parents to employ when disciplining their children.

Dr. Hamilton practices pediatrics in Santa Monica, Calif., and is author of “7 Secrets of the Newborn.”
 
Mar 27, 2012
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#2
From WSJ open page:

The Right Way to Spank a Child
A medical academy wrongly conflates discipline with abuse.

By Robert C. Hamilton
Feb. 5, 2019 6:47 p.m. ET

The American Academy of Pediatrics has expressed opposition to “all forms of corporal punishment,” defined to include spanking and also “kicking, shaking, or throwing children; scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair, or boxing ears; forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions; burning, scalding, or forced ingestion (for example, washing a child’s mouth out with soap or forcing [him] to swallow hot spices).”

Child abuse is a serious crime and should be punished as such. The academy is also right to oppose verbal punishment that “belittles, humiliates, denigrates, scapegoats, threatens, scares, or ridicules the child.” But it oversteps when it lumps spanking in with these harsh, heinous acts.

Some child-developmental specialists abhor spanking, a bias that can predetermine their conclusions. The data come from retrospective studies that do not—and cannot—control for the method or intensity of spanking. A drunken father who beats his child with a belt is treated as equivalent to a sober mother who swats her child’s bottom with a wooden spoon.

I know many people who were disciplined corporally as children. As adolescents and adults, these flourishing, loving, wise and nonviolent people admire and respect their parents and attribute much of their success in life to the discipline they received and learned as children.

There is a proper and loving way to spank a child. In my practice, I advise parents not to use corporal punishment until children are old enough to understand why they are being punished. Spanking should be a last resort after other disciplining methods and verbal warnings are exhausted, and only to punish clearly and willfully disobedient acts. It should never be done in public.

I recommend limiting spanking to one to three swats with a wooden spoon, not a hand. The swats should sting only, not injure. Discipline should come as soon as possible after the offending behavior, and should be followed by a reflective moment when parent and child review the reason for the discipline, then reconcile and embrace.

Disciplining children is time-consuming and unpleasant. But parents who do so consistently and conscientiously find that spanking becomes rare because their children learn to respect them and obey their words.

The rejection of spanking flies in the face of multiple biblical injunctions regarding child discipline. It’s unreasonable to demand that believing Jews and Christians dismiss clear teachings like the one in Proverbs 22:15: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.” The ancient rabbis weren’t fools. They understood human nature and recognized that children are born with wills that need to be quelled.

I’m concerned that American Academy of Pediatrics policy will invite lawmakers to enact spanking bans, urging the government to intrude into intimate family affairs. Proper spanking is rare, but it is highly effective in shaping a child’s character and behavior. It should continue to be an option for loving parents to employ when disciplining their children.

Dr. Hamilton practices pediatrics in Santa Monica, Calif., and is author of “7 Secrets of the Newborn.”
My grandma used to make me go cut a switch off the tree, grab me by one arm and beat my a$$ in a circle until she got tired of whipping me. It's all good and I turned out fine.
 
Jul 20, 2018
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#3
The world was a much better place before people started taking advice on how to raise a child from a person who had no children of his own. Dr. Spock was a disgraceful person.
 

wrenhal

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#4
The world was a much better place before people started taking advice on how to raise a child from a person who had no children of his own. Dr. Spock was a disgraceful person.
So were the ones that did that sex study with children. Was it Masters & Johnson?

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#5
So were the ones that did that sex study with children. Was it Masters & Johnson?

Sent from my KIW-L24 using Tapatalk
My dad was an industrial arts teacher. Made his paddles complete with holes in his woodworking class. The one toy I could always talk my mom into at TG&Y was the wooden paddle ball. Those things as intended had a shelf life of a couple hours after we got home but she always had a supply of wooden paddles that fit nicely into her purse. Took me too long to catch on.

Worst spankings I ever saw were a friend whose dad would make him disassemble his hot wheels track. You could hear the whistle and smack right across the back of his bare thighs with those orange tracks from hell.
 

Jostate

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#9
I'm not going all progressive parent on you, but I have found other solutions that seemed to have good results by taking away something my son wants. Currently the threat of no Ipad or Xbox is sufficient to get his attention.

I have spanked a few times, but don't know that it's really the cure all it's made out to be. BTW, I don't understand the "never spank out of anger" line because that's the only kind I know.
 
Dec 9, 2013
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#10
I'm not going all progressive parent on you, but I have found other solutions that seemed to have good results by taking away something my son wants. Currently the threat of no Ipad or Xbox is sufficient to get his attention.

I have spanked a few times, but don't know that it's really the cure all it's made out to be. BTW, I don't understand the "never spank out of anger" line because that's the only kind I know.
When I was a kid it wasn’t so much out of anger I called BS on it was the “Trust me this is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you.”

Funny worst one I ever got from my dad was when I was probably 10 definitely old enough to know better but getting to the point where I thought being a smart ass was cute. After the “hurts me worse then it hurts you” I un grabbed the ankles stood up turned around to my dad and suggested if that’s the case how bout he bend over & we switch.
 

Jostate

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#11
Funny worst one I ever got from my dad was when I was probably 10 definitely old enough to know better but getting to the point where I thought being a smart ass was cute. After the “hurts me worse then it hurts you” I un grabbed the ankles stood up turned around to my dad and suggested if that’s the case how bout he bend over & we switch.
Yep, you deserved what you got there.

My wife was always the one wanting to go to this solution, but she knew she wasn't able to do the job as well so she'd ask me to do it. Sometimes I didn't think my son deserved it so the spanking was a little lame. One time I said he was going to lose his TV for the day and he asked if he could have a spanking instead. This really pissed me off, and insulted me personally. When I was done he never suggested that again.
 
Mar 27, 2012
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#12
Yep, you deserved what you got there.

My wife was always the one wanting to go to this solution, but she knew she wasn't able to do the job as well so she'd ask me to do it. Sometimes I didn't think my son deserved it so the spanking was a little lame. One time I said he was going to lose his TV for the day and he asked if he could have a spanking instead. This really pissed me off, and insulted me personally. When I was done he never suggested that again.
I'd have gotten both at that point, I guarantee it.
 

RxCowboy

Has no Rx for his orange obsession.
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#13
If I had it to do over again I don't know that I would spank my son as much as I did. OTOH, his mother didn't discipline him at all. After he moved in with her she would call me and have me "talk to your son." I would ground him. The next day I would call and he would be playing on the xbox. I would ask her why. Her answer, "I just love him so much." Well if you love him you have to discipline him. She let him know in no uncertain terms that there were no consequences to his actions.
 
Mar 27, 2012
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Wishing I was in Stillwater
#14
If I had it to do over again I don't know that I would spank my son as much as I did. OTOH, his mother didn't discipline him at all. After he moved in with her she would call me and have me "talk to your son." I would ground him. The next day I would call and he would be playing on the xbox. I would ask her why. Her answer, "I just love him so much." Well if you love him you have to discipline him. She let him know in no uncertain terms that there were no consequences to his actions.
When my son got "too old to spank" I would take his Xbox controllers and put them in my gun safe. The best punishment was him having to look at a game console with all of his games that he could not play.

Note: If they have the 360 connect or any other motion activated attachments, you have to take them as well. :D
 
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