It's not video games, racism, or music....it's family

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llcoolw

Territorial Marshal
Feb 7, 2005
6,094
3,329
1,743
Sammamish, Washington.Dallas, Texas.Maui, Hawaii
#41
Dad was dead at 3(parents were divorced at 1).

Mom married two felons, both of which destroyed my ability to have healthy relationships with men.

How deep you want to go?
I've grown fond of your posts over the years and now I'm following you. I'm impressed of the obstacles you've beaten and in the way you carry yourself. Happy you wear orange!!!!
 

GodsPeace

Joshua 1:9
Aug 20, 2004
31,673
13,618
1,743
41
Stillwater
#42
I've grown fond of your posts over the years and now I'm following you. I'm impressed of the obstacles you've beaten and in the way you carry yourself. Happy you wear orange!!!!
I appreciate it. In truth, the most dangerous thing for me is to act as I've won. I'm good, but as soon as I get comfortable I catch it on the chin. Depression is a nightmare sometimes. I manage it. I appreciate the kind words.
 

kaboy42

Territorial Marshal
May 2, 2007
8,052
8,479
1,743
#43
I appreciate it. In truth, the most dangerous thing for me is to act as I've won. I'm good, but as soon as I get comfortable I catch it on the chin. Depression is a nightmare sometimes. I manage it. I appreciate the kind words.
Brother, I hear you.

Life was going great... in a matter of three months, lost my father, lost my job and then my wife of 20 years filed for divorce and left me. After 3 years, I'm finally starting to get whole again, really feeling good about my life and pretty proud of how I'm starting to get a great grip on things again... then *SMACK*.

I'm in a car accident that probably should have killed both me and my 16yr old son. 3 weeks later, my girlfriend of more than a year texts me and says "This isn't working for me. I don't want to continue this relationship" and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not back to square one, but smurf. I'd sure like to find a "new normal" for myself that's smurfing dependable. Damn near 50 yrs old, I should be really enjoying life. Instead, just getting my ass kicked around.

You're in my prayers.
 

GodsPeace

Joshua 1:9
Aug 20, 2004
31,673
13,618
1,743
41
Stillwater
#44
Brother, I hear you.

Life was going great... in a matter of three months, lost my father, lost my job and then my wife of 20 years filed for divorce and left me. After 3 years, I'm finally starting to get whole again, really feeling good about my life and pretty proud of how I'm starting to get a great grip on things again... then *SMACK*.

I'm in a car accident that probably should have killed both me and my 16yr old son. 3 weeks later, my girlfriend of more than a year texts me and says "This isn't working for me. I don't want to continue this relationship" and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not back to square one, but smurf. I'd sure like to find a "new normal" for myself that's smurfing dependable. Damn near 50 yrs old, I should be really enjoying life. Instead, just getting my ass kicked around.

You're in my prayers.
That's rough(understatement) my man. As a depressive that all might kill me. I already know I wouldn't be here if not for my wife. Thank God you and your son survived, and I hope you are recovered.

I literally told my wife that I don't believe I could date in this current environment. I don't know if I could even approach trusting someone. It's harder and harder to find people that are genuine and committed. I never liked dating. It's really not "practice' for later. I may be jaded cause I work with teens, though, and literally, everything is superficial all the time.

Your story also reminds me of another thing I tell people all the time. Don't feel sorry for me because I probably wouldn't trade my life for yours. I've survived mine, and I assume you've had some real challenges that I haven't faced. It's crazy. For me, it is more about understanding where people are coming from.

My original answer to Cali's question was both serious and half-hearted. It was honest, but I felt like he was playing. Which is why I asked how deep he wanted to go.
 

kaboy42

Territorial Marshal
May 2, 2007
8,052
8,479
1,743
#45
That's rough(understatement) my man. As a depressive that all might kill me. I already know I wouldn't be here if not for my wife. Thank God you and your son survived, and I hope you are recovered.

I literally told my wife that I don't believe I could date in this current environment. I don't know if I could even approach trusting someone. It's harder and harder to find people that are genuine and committed. I never liked dating. It's really not "practice' for later. I may be jaded cause I work with teens, though, and literally, everything is superficial all the time.

Your story also reminds me of another thing I tell people all the time. Don't feel sorry for me because I probably wouldn't trade my life for yours. I've survived mine, and I assume you've had some real challenges that I haven't faced. It's crazy. For me, it is more about understanding where people are coming from.

My original answer to Cali's question was both serious and half-hearted. It was honest, but I felt like he was playing. Which is why I asked how deep he wanted to go.
Thanks. Just some very slight tenderness in my ribs now.

Yes sir... dating at 47, f*cking sucks. Sorry for the language, but it's just that terrible. I haven't had a date in almost 4 years now with a woman that hasn't been abused. Not a single one. AND I have my scars too. Soooo yeah, it's complicated, it's pretty much emotional warfare, it's an assload of work, and you're constantly vulnerable/exposed. It's a train wreck just waiting to happen. I give up on it daily and swear to myself that I don't give a sh*t.

But I do.
 

GodsPeace

Joshua 1:9
Aug 20, 2004
31,673
13,618
1,743
41
Stillwater
#46
Thanks. Just some very slight tenderness in my ribs now.

Yes sir... dating at 47, f*cking sucks. Sorry for the language, but it's just that terrible. I haven't had a date in almost 4 years now with a woman that hasn't been abused. Not a single one. AND I have my scars too. Soooo yeah, it's complicated, it's pretty much emotional warfare, it's an assload of work, and you're constantly vulnerable/exposed. It's a train wreck just waiting to happen. I give up on it daily and swear to myself that I don't give a sh*t.

But I do.
I've gotten to where I'm sort of an open book. Not entirely, but really to talk if needed and share. I think it can be its own trap. Almost like hiding in plain sight.
 
Nov 6, 2010
1,016
381
713
#47
Thanks. Just some very slight tenderness in my ribs now.

Yes sir... dating at 47, f*cking sucks. Sorry for the language, but it's just that terrible. I haven't had a date in almost 4 years now with a woman that hasn't been abused. Not a single one. AND I have my scars too. Soooo yeah, it's complicated, it's pretty much emotional warfare, it's an assload of work, and you're constantly vulnerable/exposed. It's a train wreck just waiting to happen. I give up on it daily and swear to myself that I don't give a sh*t.

But I do.
Man, your story sounds a lot like mine minus the car wreck. I didn't know what to do, and my good friend suggested I join Facebook. I'm not a social media person, but low and behold, I reconnected with a woman who I had worked with over a decade ago. She had always impressed me as a person, but there was nothing romantic between us back then. We just both happened to be in about the same spot in life, and now we're married and I couldn't be happier. I just couldn't bring myself to do the whole online dating thing, I think because of the stuff you're dealing with. So maybe you can reach back into your past and find someone you knew like I did. Hang in there and best of luck.
 

llcoolw

Territorial Marshal
Feb 7, 2005
6,094
3,329
1,743
Sammamish, Washington.Dallas, Texas.Maui, Hawaii
#48
Thanks. Just some very slight tenderness in my ribs now.

Yes sir... dating at 47, f*cking sucks. Sorry for the language, but it's just that terrible. I haven't had a date in almost 4 years now with a woman that hasn't been abused. Not a single one. AND I have my scars too. Soooo yeah, it's complicated, it's pretty much emotional warfare, it's an assload of work, and you're constantly vulnerable/exposed. It's a train wreck just waiting to happen. I give up on it daily and swear to myself that I don't give a sh*t.

But I do.
There's got to be some sweet lady's who love OSU. Not that I'm looking but I'm not blind either.